best

I love you for loving me...to whomever loves me. To those that don't, I'm learning to love you too.

Men, if "It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean" It better be the perfect fucking storm.

When I say 'Come' she says 'Make me.'

I'm too anxious to go pick up my anti-anxiety medication.
This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.

Somebody got Monday all over my Tuesday.

"Pics or it didn't happen!" translates roughly into: "Show us dem titties!"

This may be a shot in the dark, but do any of YOU know where my kids are?



Keep your friends close and your booty call on speed dial.